Whatcha thinking about?

I hate whenever my girlfriend asks me, “What are you thinking about?” You know what she wants to hear is something romantic like, “Oh, the first time we met,” or something like that. But really, that’s not what I’m thinking about. So she’ll ask me, and I’ll say something like, “If Magneto creates magnetic fields how can he levitate other people if they’re not wearing metal? The iron in their blood? Wouldn’t that be really, really painful?”

Steroids

I enjoy comics and superheroes a little too much because I was watching a documentary about steroids and it said, "Steroids allow your body to gain muscle mass at a greater rate than normal. In essence, steroids give you super-human strength."

And I'm sitting there thinking, yeah! That sounds great!